i dun know what is right and what is wrong, but i do know that i value my beliefs, i value my friends around me, brothers and sisters in christ, my family.

sacrifices are needed all the time, what is right and what is wrong, i leave it for the spectators to decide for themselves ah, personally, i will not go against my own belief.

I know i am inadequate, spiritually, mentally and physically, i have not much authority on the people around me, i have no idea how they view me. but for the sake of their good, i will do whatever it takes.

God sent his son down to die on the cross, cause he loved us so, he broke his own heart for us.

I will do whatever it takes to bless others, even if it means i have to hurt myself.

dun worry, i wun emo, i got used to all these routine already, the constant cycle, i acknowledge my position and am aware of my own stand and capabilities. no matter how things turn out in the end, i'll still praise God, not what i lost, but what i am blessed with :D

getting out of my comfort zone, doing things that i dun usually do.

Sometimes i just require a push every now and then to get me moving, similar to a horse, at time to time, you need to slap its butt to get it to move. I guess the same applies to me, need someone to wake me up every now and then to get me to work and do the things that i should.

things that are suppose to be habitual are not yet in place. things that should have been disposed of is still left uncleared.

to get closer, i need to persevere.. need to P.U.S.H. !

great sacrifices are sometimes needed to achieve greater heights.

I'll make the sacrifice cause I wanna give you 100%, not gonna hold back !

for the greater good !

regrets ~

last session of camp talks about regrets.

not something that is new to me, but rather it is something i have been working on.

What are the things you have done yesterday that caused you to regret today ?

what are you going to do today that you aren't gonna regret tomorrow ?

Thinking back, I have lots of regrets. Sometime back, i re surrendered my life back to God, talling Him that I want to live life to the fullest, living life His way.

I worked hard to prevent myself from regretting my actions. Mistakes or victories, i thank God for them.

Made a mistake, learnt from it, move on.

I am sick and tired of telling myself of the many things that i regret, I made efforts to prevent those things from happening in the future. went out of my way to serve others, looked out to the needs of others, made efforts to maintain relationships with people. made myself uncomfortable attempting to add to the life of others, building people up .

Dun be upset over past failures, but thank God that it happened, for without it, you would not know what failure is. Without it, you would not know what it means to lose something precious, be it a memory or a person or an object or even a relationship. Learn from them.

My encouragement to all is for you to constantly work on the things that you dun want to regret, things that you cherish.

If you cherish human relations, make efforts to patch up bad relationships.

If you cherish your memories, make efforts to not repeat them again.

If you cherish God, hold on fast to Him and never let go.

If you cherish your ministry, always seek to serve better.

If you cherish souls, never stop fishing for them.

Whatever it is that you cherish, protect them today, the dateline of their lives is not when Jesus returns, but it is when they fade from earth. I have no idea when it will be game over, but for every minute that I'm in the game, I'm gonna make the best out of it.

What about you ?

laptop broke down ! in the middle of assignment submission week, haha

but all is well for now, hehe, my week started with the break down of my laptop. but all is good now, managed to somehow get things all back on track :D

oh yea, i just realised yesterday that desperation band's songs are able to be played on guitar in G family, haha. i know all songs can be played in G, but thing is, ultimate-guitar dun provide the chords, haha. but for desperation band, i managed to find most of their songs in G. thus, for the past 2 days, i have been practicing Counting on God, haha

:D

super pissed off cause i cant find the peer evaluation form and the plagiarism declaration form even after searching in mel for the past 2 hours.

Sacrifice

What is sacrifice ? for the past 1 to 2 months, i have been learning about sacrifice. All that is written here will be based on my opinions and do correct me if what i said have went against the bible.

Anyway, what is sacrifice to you ?

The Cost

Personally for me, i have learnt sacrifice firstly through sin. Putting to death my sin and devoting myself to God was sacrifice. Through the path of devoting myself, i found that it was seriously difficult. It required me to lay down my pride and say "I am Yours, work in me which ever way You want to"

It was not easy at first, but starting with sin, it lead to more devotion, my dreams.. my life, my family, my human relationships.

sin and dreams were 2 major segments of my life, sin was due to habit that made it so dear to me. dreams were my fuel, it pushed me to work hard, hoping to achieve it someday.

After i set myself out to surrender these 2 areas to God, the rest just seems to set in.

The cost were high, but it was worth it.

Position of the Heart

Where does your heart lies ? Before this whole crazy change occurred, my heart was definitely to know God more or to get closer to Him. I have no idea where my heart truely lies. I was then challenged by my lifegroup leader to desire for Him. after wanting to devote myself to God, I needed to work out my desire, do i truely desire to have Him in my life ?

It took me quite awhile to find that answer, at first i was hesitating, i knew what was to come, judgement of people, a massive load of obstacles to clear, and full of crap from the devil. I had to prepare myself. But when i decided to to give my heart to God, I knew it was the right choice.

Having my heart now set towards God's direction, I had to propel myself forward, being pushed by my lifegroup to grow, any further growth would have to be self motivated, after all, i cant depend on others forever right ?

Similar to breakthroughs in life, once again, this was not easy. Shifting back my focus, I had to overcome the temptation of not dwelling about my past. My past was constantly haunting me, telling me, that my past will drag me down, that my struggle will eventually be futile.

but .. never listen to the hauntings, never give up !

Press On

As much as I know that it is tough, press on ! Because changes are never easy to cope with. Personally, i have my life group, an accountability group / partner to communicate with, to encourage and push me forward . Nevertheless, do keep yourself totally immersed with God. Drown yourself with prayers and scriptures, I started out with covering myself, allowing God to work through me, time and again i get beaten down by the devil, but yet i encourage you to get up on your feet and carry on with the journey. A tough journey makes the ending sweeter right ? the sweet taste of the end will be awesome after you have pulled past the breakthrough :)