training !

we train to be better, to grow.

hmm... for my spiritual life, i would have to admit that i have not been living on a healthy growth, its my mentality i guess ? somethings seems to be wrong, like i'm not really loving God. do you ever feel that way ? like you feel that you aren't suppose to be this loved, not suppose to where you are today. or feel like you are so lowly, that you yourself never gave it your all. cause that's more or less what I'm feeling now.

just get the terrible feeling and constantly thinking to myself "what am i doing ?!?" and the more i dwell on it, the more demoralized i feel.

shall continue working on what not right, and aim towards getting closer.

Strive to live in TRUTH with my inner being, only God and I really know whats within my own heart.

i'm like super tired now and i dun have any motivation to do my work. school has been good, though i cant say that about my own life though, thank God for His second chance

I should stop thinking so much and focus on what God has in store for me! renewal, renewal will come !

I just realised that i have a terrible schedule, everyday is so packed, so full... i really wonder if i am still able to make time for volunteering. Its a crazy schedule, i'm fully booked on a daily basis from 10am to 6pm, friday i'm booked till 7pm. Saturday is church day, i effectively spend my day at church, after that I either join my parents for dinner or i'll be settling my own dinner. either way, i basically dun get any work done on saturdays. As for sundays, i'm either out for the entire day or at home for the entire day, its the only day of the week that is consistently empty for my schedule, i hardly have anything on sundays, which makes it my only family day.....

where do i find time to squeeze in volunteering ? where do i find time to minister back to the youths ?

weariness opens the door for one to lose control over the mental war. Ever realize that when you are tired, you get agitated easily ? that you get more emotionally unstable ? become more self-centered ?

no matter the circumstance, one should never give in to the mental + spiritual battle, when you lose the mental war, you will be at a great disadvantage in the spiritual war.

Context ..

context is different for everyone, it can differ massively, be worlds apart. no 2 person have the exact same context due to different past experience and different feelings due to the experiences.

I want to give out more to my society, but I need companions also, I dun wanna be alone. I'm not alone and I dun want to believe the devil when he says that I am cause I'm sure that I'm not :D

join me ?? everyone has got power, the power to change/ cause change. God, I need companion ship, companions that share the same visions, to encourage and push each other on.

i realise that searching for a singaporean that uses their youtube account to glorify God is superbly near zero, so far, the only person i found is jedimindless and kennygohweizhi, if you know of other youtubers that are singaporeans and glorify God, let me know, i would be very interested to get to know them

Fire !!

All along i always knew something was missing, but never knew what it was.

LifeGroup is never about church or the weekly meetups. Most people are affected and clouded by the stereotype view on a certain subject.

As the name of this post suggest, what color do you equate a fire to ? red ??

well, i believe that everyone knows that a fire is red, but think again, is it always pure red ? In the midst of the redness, there's probably orange, yellow or even blue that people neglect. I find that church is the same, lifegroup is the same. We are very good in doing the red stuff, the things that people easily equate to church or lifegroup. attending service, weekly meet ups. When a member falls sick or is absent from any one of the above, we contact them and inquire about them, is that not true ? is that not cliche ? is that not the basic form of care and concern that a lifegroup should have ? that a community should have ?

then may i suggest that we are no different from the rest of the world.

What makes us different is our inner flame, not what people equate to us, but what is already in us but yet was neglected. You see, everyone has been granted an angelic heart, a heart that is good. but yet we hardly take the initiative to take the extra step. Lifegroup is not just about meeting weekly, church is not about taking attendance/ show face weekly, but rather, is about the inner flame. if lifegroup and church disaappeared, what happens next ?

Will we still spent as much time reaching out ? will we still seek as desperately ?

something i learned from kairos is to not be bounded by schedule, meaning that we should not be meeting up only on scheduled time slots. even for activities, i know that some form of planning needs to be done, however, God did not restrict us, He granted us freedom. how often have you casually just asked your lifegroup member out simply just for a meal ? or random meet up simply cause you were bored ?

to be truthful, i have deviated from what i originally wanted to blog about. i dun quite know how to explain myself, but i do know that the blue flame that is constantly covered by the red flame is important