regrets ~

last session of camp talks about regrets.

not something that is new to me, but rather it is something i have been working on.

What are the things you have done yesterday that caused you to regret today ?

what are you going to do today that you aren't gonna regret tomorrow ?

Thinking back, I have lots of regrets. Sometime back, i re surrendered my life back to God, talling Him that I want to live life to the fullest, living life His way.

I worked hard to prevent myself from regretting my actions. Mistakes or victories, i thank God for them.

Made a mistake, learnt from it, move on.

I am sick and tired of telling myself of the many things that i regret, I made efforts to prevent those things from happening in the future. went out of my way to serve others, looked out to the needs of others, made efforts to maintain relationships with people. made myself uncomfortable attempting to add to the life of others, building people up .

Dun be upset over past failures, but thank God that it happened, for without it, you would not know what failure is. Without it, you would not know what it means to lose something precious, be it a memory or a person or an object or even a relationship. Learn from them.

My encouragement to all is for you to constantly work on the things that you dun want to regret, things that you cherish.

If you cherish human relations, make efforts to patch up bad relationships.

If you cherish your memories, make efforts to not repeat them again.

If you cherish God, hold on fast to Him and never let go.

If you cherish your ministry, always seek to serve better.

If you cherish souls, never stop fishing for them.

Whatever it is that you cherish, protect them today, the dateline of their lives is not when Jesus returns, but it is when they fade from earth. I have no idea when it will be game over, but for every minute that I'm in the game, I'm gonna make the best out of it.

What about you ?

laptop broke down ! in the middle of assignment submission week, haha

but all is well for now, hehe, my week started with the break down of my laptop. but all is good now, managed to somehow get things all back on track :D

oh yea, i just realised yesterday that desperation band's songs are able to be played on guitar in G family, haha. i know all songs can be played in G, but thing is, ultimate-guitar dun provide the chords, haha. but for desperation band, i managed to find most of their songs in G. thus, for the past 2 days, i have been practicing Counting on God, haha

:D

super pissed off cause i cant find the peer evaluation form and the plagiarism declaration form even after searching in mel for the past 2 hours.

Sacrifice

What is sacrifice ? for the past 1 to 2 months, i have been learning about sacrifice. All that is written here will be based on my opinions and do correct me if what i said have went against the bible.

Anyway, what is sacrifice to you ?

The Cost

Personally for me, i have learnt sacrifice firstly through sin. Putting to death my sin and devoting myself to God was sacrifice. Through the path of devoting myself, i found that it was seriously difficult. It required me to lay down my pride and say "I am Yours, work in me which ever way You want to"

It was not easy at first, but starting with sin, it lead to more devotion, my dreams.. my life, my family, my human relationships.

sin and dreams were 2 major segments of my life, sin was due to habit that made it so dear to me. dreams were my fuel, it pushed me to work hard, hoping to achieve it someday.

After i set myself out to surrender these 2 areas to God, the rest just seems to set in.

The cost were high, but it was worth it.

Position of the Heart

Where does your heart lies ? Before this whole crazy change occurred, my heart was definitely to know God more or to get closer to Him. I have no idea where my heart truely lies. I was then challenged by my lifegroup leader to desire for Him. after wanting to devote myself to God, I needed to work out my desire, do i truely desire to have Him in my life ?

It took me quite awhile to find that answer, at first i was hesitating, i knew what was to come, judgement of people, a massive load of obstacles to clear, and full of crap from the devil. I had to prepare myself. But when i decided to to give my heart to God, I knew it was the right choice.

Having my heart now set towards God's direction, I had to propel myself forward, being pushed by my lifegroup to grow, any further growth would have to be self motivated, after all, i cant depend on others forever right ?

Similar to breakthroughs in life, once again, this was not easy. Shifting back my focus, I had to overcome the temptation of not dwelling about my past. My past was constantly haunting me, telling me, that my past will drag me down, that my struggle will eventually be futile.

but .. never listen to the hauntings, never give up !

Press On

As much as I know that it is tough, press on ! Because changes are never easy to cope with. Personally, i have my life group, an accountability group / partner to communicate with, to encourage and push me forward . Nevertheless, do keep yourself totally immersed with God. Drown yourself with prayers and scriptures, I started out with covering myself, allowing God to work through me, time and again i get beaten down by the devil, but yet i encourage you to get up on your feet and carry on with the journey. A tough journey makes the ending sweeter right ? the sweet taste of the end will be awesome after you have pulled past the breakthrough :)

I Pour My Love on You - Philip, Craig and Dean

I don't know how to say exactly how I feel
And I can't begin to tell you what your love has meant
I'm lost for words
Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are
You're my dearest friend

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you

CHORUS:
Like oil upon your feet
Like wine for you to drink
Life water from my heart
I pour my love on you
With praises like the perfume
I lavish mine on you
Till every drop is gone
I pour my love on you

Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are,
My dearest friend

Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you

This is an amazing song that i remembered out of a sudden, truly wonderful song that worships our God

Family ~

i just had a serious chit chat with my 7 years old brother.

sure enough he is just 7, but i assure you, our conversation was serious.

I find it difficult to understand things from my mother's perspective, really. as i converse with my brother, it seems that he is seeing things only from his small little world. I know that each time i confront my parents about it, they always say "kids are all the same". But is that really the case? I really hope for an understanding of what is going through my parent's mind, mostly my mum though.

from what i see, i dun see why every kid has to be the same. I tried, tried taking care of my brother's character. but each time my parents would butt in and tell me to stop. Fine, i thought at first that it was my method, so i changed my tactic.

i tried again, but once again my parents gave the same reply "you were once like that"

worst reply ever ! of all things, i really wish for my brother to not be like me, cause i really did not quite like my character back in my childish days.

On one hand, i need to take care of my brother, but on the other, i cant stand to see him with that stuck up attitude and not do anything about it. it goes against my principal. it just irritates me so much, to see something that goes against my belief and i cant do anything about it.

sure i could ignore what my parents say and carry on with my parental ways. but.. truth of the matter is that my focus is on my relationship with my mum. no matter what, i dun want it to be any worse than what it is now. seriously anger is an evil thing, should i let my mum know of my anger that is created due to how she takes care of my bro, all hell will break loose !

She's great in taking care of people's physical needs, but for others, i dun think so. day by day, it becomes a more integral part of me to view my mum as a childish person. and i hate that thought, it make it tougher for me to communicate with my mum. i detest this sort of thinking, but it has already become so natural.

i am pretty much at a lost now, back to square one where i am clueless as to what to do.

Hi all !!

have been quite some time since i last posted right?

anyway, i have been busy for the past couple of days, working at my dad's office as an admin assistant :D

not much to be done in the office though, cause i not pro enough , so i spend quite abit of time slacking around.

have been busy with brigade admin department and also for my brother's birthday :D

For those who did not know, tomorrow is Shunji's birthday ! wish him happy birthday ok ?? haha

also , just yesterday, i have gotten a classical guitar from my aunt. the guitar is old, approximately.. 10 years or older, seriously needs repairing :(

Anyone has an acoustic guitar to spare ??

if not.. then can anyone help me or teach me how to go about buying strings and restringing the strings of an classical guitar? i only managed to tune 4 out of the 6 strings though, but they seem to go out of tune easily.

tomorrow morning i will not be going to work, will be spending the day helping out for shun ji birthday :D

hope i have fun tomorrow night :)) looking forward to it

Oh ya, before i forget, just wanan let you know that my mum got a job at IMM, no idea what job it covers, but basically she is working part time, also as an admin. and for that... it means that there will not be any dinner at home for quite sometime unless my parents decide to have a maid which will signify that i will be chased out of my room :(

but.. i shall not be bothered by that for now, current thing that i should usher more concern into will be my brother, he is attending school in Keming, and attends afternoon lessons. and since my mum end work at 6, there will be times where she might work OT, thing is, it will be risky.

And for some reason, my mum dun trust me to take care of my brother.

but whatever the reason, i shall not be bothered and ... i shall leave it to my parents, i tried ok, i tried hard to patch up with my mum, but seriously, it seems like she is rejecting me every time !

for goodness sake ! it is not as though i am chasing a girl now, i only want forgiveness and understanding, but apparently, it seems that it is super difficult for both parties.

nvm then , shall just go with the flow, shall keep trying :D